Woman of the Nineteenth Century Essay Example for Free

adult female of the Nineteenth Century EssayDear diary, I am a woman by birth, a woman by heart save this country does non recognize it nor understand what it means to be a woman. I hasten been married for almost twenty years now, maybe twenty two. I am already confused, as my body is tired, to think of the number of years I nurse been married. I could even barely rec in all the time I was born or the exact date I was brought to this wretched world. The years percolatemed to have gone by too fast, yet the pain and the harsh experiences carried in it are still here, in my body and in my heart. Oh how I wish they have all leftfield together with my youth.I am old. My eyes and the skin surrounding it are already too depressed and deeply imbedded in their sockets. My lips are too dry to even speak to anyone else. Wrinkles are all anyplace my face, as if representing the countless agonies and tall(prenominal)ships I have endured. Marriage is the worst subject that has eve r happened in my life. It divest me of all my individuality and happiness in life. Britain, my country, bequeaths us, women, a hard time by forcing us to follow Britains savage men. There are few men compared to women in Britain, yet they are cold more savage than us women.They are like wolves hunting for lambs, tearing the flesh out of their victims. Because of marriage, I was not adequate to(p) to enjoy my life as a young adult. I was not able to lavish my self with material things. I was not able to eat exotic foods which I have been dreaming of eating since I was a child. I was not able to wear elegant clothes or build a huge house for myself. I was not able to enjoy the fruits of my comminute because I am, or us women, are expected to depend highly on men. The capital that I received from the death of my father due to the war was passed on to my save after marrying him.All the money that I have earned through the countless hours of working was collected by my greedy hus band. Its all thanks to my countrys unwomanly law, the 1882 Married Property Act. It deprived my off all my independence and freedom to live on my own. It imprisoned me in the hands of my no-good husband. I turn over that women should be given the equal rights to property and dignity of self-support. I have been dreaming and wanting to divorcement him for years, after the beginning beating I have received from him, months after our wedding. I caught him cheating on me, having sex with an old-hag in our neighborhood.I threw everything that I could lay my hands to him on during that day. The thoughts of killing him also flashed into my mind, but I didnt, because I feared Britains cold prison. I have the right to be angry and should have the right to divorce him, but my country doesnt give me that right, they simply wont permit me leave him. It is the fault of the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857 which gives men more power over us women. Because of this law, they lav divorce or disca rd of us anytime they want as long as they provide evidences of criminal conversation committed by their wives.However, even if we caught our men cheating, we cannot divorce them. Even if I was divorced by him (Oh Id really spang to be separated from this beast) this law wont let me see my angelic children. Giving birth was the most painful for me. I have a slight breaking ball on my spine. I think this increases the risk of paralysis when giving birth. I assume such thing would happen based on the twenty-ninth womans story in the book which I read called Motherhood Bondage by Margaret Sanger. She has three boys, and worked really hard just as I do.If I remember what I read right, her right arm was paralyzed when she gave birth to his second mar and was totally paralyzed (her whole right side) when she gave birth to the third (Sanger 86). I sympathize with her and hope that it does not happen to me. I already have thirteen children, five weak boys and eight sickly girls, at my a ge of 40. Luckily, I have not experienced any paralysis. But it was definitely painful. Having these lovely angels give me hope and uplifts my spirit. However, having so many children can also be a burden especially if a husband doesnt provide financial support to his wife, just like what my husband does to me.My husband doesnt support us that more than. I am further able to raise my beautiful angels because I plow some money from work. My fool husband can beat me to death but I leave alone never give him all my money, especially the little savings I have for my children. Truthfully, I love all of my children, but I do not want any more of them. On the contrary, my husband seems to want more. Well, not particularly children, but specifically sex. He comes home late at iniquity in his elegant pants and fine coat, hiding the beast within him. Hes incessantly drunk and is fond of beating me.My sadist husband rapes me every night, pushing my face to the hard headboard of our meage r bed. He enjoys every scream I utter in our small room that echoing the pain on the soiled walls. He thinks that I am his property, an object which he can toss around and manage anytime he wanted. He arouses me by playing with my clitoris, stimulating my body to lubricate the part which he wants more than his wife my vagina. If he accidentally hurts his private organ by pushing too hard, he strangle me and yells that I am sexually frigid.He questions my capability to have a vaginal orgasm and argues that I am sexually incompetent. But to tell you the truth, he is simply ignorant. My stupid husband who only faultless his secondary education thinks he is superior and very intelligent, but he does not know much and does not actually understand women. Vaginal orgasm is purely mens idea about women and neglects the fact that the vagina is not a highly sensitive area and is not constructed to achieve orgasm, it is the clitoris, which is the womens eye of sexual sensitivity and which is the female equivalent of the penis (Koedt 133).Is it still my fault for being sexually aroused yet sexually unsatisfied? I did not want to have sex with him on the outset place (and I would like to emphasize that right now, I really regret marrying him) but he keeps using me, treating me as a sex slave. His sexual appetite seems unquenchable like a animate being who returns every night, wanting to devour another lamb. I am already old and my husband as well, but his desirous for sex is as vigorous as ever. Remembering our honeymoon or our first night together was really exciting.My heart was beating really fast as he unfolds every clothing that hides my smooth and tender skin. With every touch, my heart skips a beat. With every kiss, my cheeks turn red and my bosoms resurrect as if they were touching heaven. When he first entered me, it was painful, yet pleasurable in a way. It was like dream, only that time it was real. However, having sex with him few weeks after that was like nightmare it was a living hell. As a woman, my right for voluntary womanhood is violated.I simply cannot stop him from having sex with me. Everytime I disagree with his yearning or push him away, he comes back with a forceful punch or a hard kick on my stomach, on my face or on my chest. I can no prolonged refuse to submit to my husbands sexual demands. Something which I believe is a right which should be given to me, as a woman, as a mother and as an individual. I believe that on that point should be right on the part of a woman to decide when she shall become a mother, how very much and under what circumstances (Grimke 942).I am a woman by birth, a woman by heart but my husband, the men in this country, my country, do not recognize it nor understand what it means to be a woman. I know that writing this on a piece of paper wont do much. But I am hoping that someday, somebody who has power or understands women sees this and liberates me or at to the lowest degree women fro m the shackles of this patriarchal society. I am old, but my heart as a woman will always be young young in the sense that it had never been given the right to grow. When I die, I hope that this woman in me is cherished, nurtured and developed by others.Diary, can you help me find that person? entertain? I hope you can, and I hope its soon.Works CitedGrimke, Sarah. On Voluntary Motherhood. For Women Only Your make it to Health Empowerment. Eds. Gary Null and Barbara Seaman. Canada Seven Stories Press, 1999. Koedt, Ann. The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm. Public Women, Public Words A accusative History of American Feminism. Ed. Dawn Keetley. UK Rowman and Littlefield Publishers, Inc. , 1970. Sanger, Margaret. Motherhood in Bondage. New York Brentanos, Inc. , 2000.