Of Mice and Men George Milton’s Diary Essay

Dear Diary,This has been the pip day Ive ever had and I presumet take I am gonnar fill a worse one again. I had to do it. I had to shot Lennie it wasnt any intimacy evil. I didnt wanna thinned Lennie. At that moment, I didnt have any choice but to do it. He was my only booster unit non only friend, we were to a not bad(p)er extent bid a family. We had been friends since when we were boys. Oh I feel so awful I believe that Lennie didnt do any harm. At least he neer sloshedt any. He is simple-minded. Lennie is an innocent, handle as a child. I shouldnt have left him alone. I feel so terrible. He never meant any harm. His mind is homogeneous a child. Lennie never meant to hurt people. He constantly gets me into terrible trouble. Hes a crazy bastard. I mean he was. Oh, I feel so awful What entrust I do instantaneously? What can I do? I suppose the only thing to do is to spend my money on his dream, to buzz off it shine line up. I want Lennies dream to come true becaus e he died imagining the dream.It was a Sunday afterwardnoon. We were just having a plot of ground of horseshoes. Lennie hadnt been with me since we started compete horseshoes. He was in the barn with that stupid pup, I designate, I did leave him in the bunkhouse, but he ended up t present. Anyway, we were totally(a) playing and I had no thought about Lennie or what he was doing. In the middle of the game, suddenly Candy was calling me over to the barn. For a second, I felt she was just resting. She was laying there, I went ripe by her and I saw her neck all twisted and her face knock down in the straw. Lennie did it. Crazy bastard. I knew he was the only one, but from indoors of my mind it was killing me. I dont lie with why that is, I never felt like that before. In the back of my mind, I always knew that he would go too far, that he wasnt synthetic rubber and should not been left alone. But I didnt wanna think like that. Now I had to.I knew that I had to get to Lennie bef ore them. I t quondam(a) Candy to make out I had never seen and tell the others and therefore take me. I had to go to the bunkhouse and get Carlsons Luger. People in the spread were all blaming Lennie. They were all idea that Lennie did it. Curley was screaming and shouting. He was shoken up and ready to explode. Curley sca cerise me by screaming like that and looking at me like that but I had to come up my cool. I just mis taken that I was on their side, out to kill for murder. The word sends a charge down me and I know I have done it now. Lennie always said to me that we were the same, like we were before.Only Slim knew what I was doing though. He knew me come up enough. I sent Curley in the other direction from where I knew Lennie was. He would go to the brushwood like I told him to. He always well-tried to do what I told him. I ran off and ensn ar him straight away. Lennie hid in the brush by the pool. He was sitting there by the river and he was talking to himself. He kept judgeing sorry he knew that I would look after him. He made me tell him about our make house for what was to be the last quantify. I mentioned it, and, he heard it. I told him not to look at me. I was trying to be a man but I couldnt control my eyes and hands. I was shaking too. I talked quietly to him about the little place we would have together, then I shot him with Carlsons gun. When the other men found me near by Lennie, they all assumed I shot Lennie in self-defence. Only Slim understands what I did and whyAt that moment the brush has changed. At the beginning it was full of light and at the end it was dark. When I shot Lennie the world seemed to get darker and darker. Ive never seen brightness since I shot Lennie.My best friend Lennie is dead now. Lennies body was lie on one side of the river where the golden foothill slopes up to the strong and rocklike Gabilan Mountains. At that moment the place was so intentless, a little draw was moving among the leaves. At th at metre the place was so quiet and soulless. We were thinking about Lennies burial. Slim, Candy, Crooks and I were thinking Lennie should be hide near by the pool because Lennie loved that place so often. We precious Lennie buried near the pool he loved, in a quiet unagitated place. When I was burying Lennie I remembered all the things he use to say to me. His dreams of the rabbits he would tend when he and I got our land. He was only disquieted about me not letting him tend the rabbits. Lennie liked to pet easily things, like puppies and dead mice. We know this got him into trouble in Weed when he tried to feel a girls soft red dress she thought he was going to attack her. And now I remember all the things he did and he used to say.On Lennies gravestone I impart write To my dear friend and keep company 1905-1937. I promised Lennies Aunt Clara that I would care for him. I looked after all Lennies affairs, such as carrying his work card, and trying to hint him out of potentia l trouble. Now I feel completely alone, upset, lonesome and lost. I dont know where to go. Now I think Lennie was everything in my world. It seems to me I miss him a lot. I couldnt keep Lennies promise. I am sorry Lennie. Forgive me if you can.At this time I have decided to think about my future. Lennie has died because of me. The end was dreadful, with the termination of Lennie. At least Lennies termination was painless, and Lennie died imagining the dream. My dream and Candys dreams were shattered by the absence of Lennie. Candy has only his own death to look forward to and he has nothing but the lifespan of an old ranch hand to fuck.At the end of the day, the story has a great sense of irony. For instance, I said that I wanted Lennie out of my life but I am emotionally lost without Lennie. Another thing I cant bequeath is when Candy told me that he wished hed shot his own dog himself. I have taken this information from Candy as advice, and I shot Lennie in to merely him fr om a cruel death.I cant forget things that Lennie did and used to say. I remember all the things I cant forget him. When ever I go to the ranch I remember all the things I just feel like he is talking to me and playing with that stupid puppy.At the moment, I have decided to leave the ranch and go to another(prenominal) place so I can live better. In this ranch I just remember Lennie everywhere. I dont know what to do. I think I should go to another place and make Lennies dream come true. Lennie told me that he wanted to have rabbits in the garden however, I dont like it at all. Anyway I have to do this for my dear friend Lennie. I want his dream to come true. Therefore, I will make his dream true. I will go to another place and scratch some work and make money for Lennies dream. I will always keep our dream. I am so sorry Lennie. I hope you will forgive me. If I still believed in divinity fudge (a part of me that was there but now has gone) I would pray to command Lennie to forgi ve me. Lennie you were my only friend, my best friend, and I wish you were still here for me, only me. And I also wish Lennie to be with me for the whole of my life but my wish will not be coming true anymore.Now I feel even guiltier about Lennie nearly draft copy when I told him to pop in the Sacramento River. I am real sorry Lennie as at that time I was mentally lost. I didnt know what to do. I was telling you to jump in the river. I am so sorry about that, I didnt mean to do that to you. I am so sorry, please forgive me. That time my emotions were co9nfused and I wasnt in a good mood. I was so angry I didnt know what I was saying. Though I knew that you dont know how to swim I still told you to jump in the river. Now I know how I feel without you. You are the only friend I ever had. You were more like family, not only a friend. I am so sorry Lennie.I dont feel like Lennie is dead. I feel like he is sitting beside me and talking about the stupid pups. The place is so lifeless. I dont feel like giving him up. He was the best friend I ever had. Thank you so much Lennie, for being my friend. You are in reality nice person, I didnt know that when you were alive. I used to think you were not important but now it seems you are a really important person. I am so sorry Lennie that I couldnt keep your promise.I am really sorry Lennie.Yours honestlyGeorge Milton